Self Worth & Self Esteem

Disclaimer: this can turn into a rant but i'll try not to:) 
but hello again! :) 

i've recently been motivated and i've had` this vibe or whatever that just makes me want to keep going. Honestly, that is not like me, that doesn't sound like me but for some reason i've been so determined this year and i'm not completely sure about how i got there. 
i think it started off from me talking to someone on Snapchat and this girl, Anna,  (let's just say Anna, not her real name though) said that you just have to work hard and keep going and you will hate it but you just have to. There's no option. So somehow after that day, i've been so motivated to keep going and one of my friends laughs at me for this but when i want to stop or give up i literally say, "just keep swimming." For anything, that's like my "mantra" (haha) but it honestly works so well for me. 

Since that day when i talked to Anna, which i believe was a day before new years, i've been trying to think about how i want to create my self worth and just create myself. Cause if u=i have to keep going, i really need to get some things straight. 
I know that a lot of people didn't make new year resolutions and that's fine but i made some that have to do with developing me as a person.
1. create myself 
2. gain self control
3. create/improve self worth 

1. You are you. You are not going to be anyone beside the person you were born to be. And you don't find yourself in life, you create yourself. i remember ranting to a friend once that "i don't have it together. everyone else does, they know what they want and who they are and how they chose to be and i just can't figure my self out and it's so frustrating." 
Haha, i didn't realize that i don't "find" and i have to get up and work hard and create myself and who i am and what i want to be or do. I have a few ideas of how and who i want to be. Honestly, the sooner you understand that "life isn't about finding yourself it's about creating yourself"the easier some personal things will be, i promise:)

2. This is just for me to find a better way to manage and control my anger/frustration, haha. 

3. MY FAV ONE! :))) okay, so self worth. In my mind, this is my definition of self worth..
self worth- the standard or worth you create for yourself that people look at and is how they will treat you; that is what you are worth. So for example if you create a high level of self worth that means people just can not treat you like shit. end of story, and if someone does then sweetie, i suggest you sit down and preach them for like 3 minutes because nothing is allowed to bring your self wroth down or allowed to steal that precious thing from you:) I'm going to be honest, i have't gotten to the place where i've created my self worth and i really want/need to. And when i do, this is something that no one is allowed to do to me, no one may treat me like shit. I'm a human i deserve to be treated the same way you, Donald Trump, Selena Gomez, a homeless man, Bella Thorne or anyone else is treated. 
Let's just say that someone treats me rudely, this is what i'd probably say: I don't think you know that i have a self worth. You may not have one and that's up to you, but i do. Understand this please that, you MAY not treat me like crap or shit. You don't treat anyone like that and you sure as hell are not allowed to do that to me. 
I'd obviously leave with a smile:))  
If they don't understand, eh i'll do another blogpost for that but they should. 

Okay but self esteem is something else. That is how you choose to see yourself or feel about yourself. 
Please understand that if you are still in school, it'll be easier to create your self worth and self esteem but you HAVE to create one, period, end of story. that is the only way you will happily get places you'd like to be at:) 

And for anyone dealing with a mental illness or a mental problem or just anything, i want to tell you that you are not alone, at all. There are so many people willing to help you, including me:) I may not know who's reading this in France or anywhere but just know, that i care bout you. Know that someone cares about you and i may not know you but i really do, promise. 

Have a wonderful day/evening!! 

Love, Drash xoxo. 


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